


Less Than Perfect

by aphenglandstan



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters: X & Y | Pokemon X & Y Versions
Genre: Angst, Clemont Goes To Therapy: The Fic, Clemont has mommy issues, Dub names used, I made him 15 and Ash also 15 bc that’s the vibes, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, POV First Person, Pokemon Gym Leaders, Therapy, clemont’s just sad, it’s just kinda Clemont angst, sonia’s a therapist, uh ash actually doesn’t appear at all in the first chapter?????
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24461053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphenglandstan/pseuds/aphenglandstan
Summary: Clemont feels the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s a gym leader, and one of the youngest. He can’t slip up. He can’t show anything less than perfect. But what happens when he can’t stop himself from being so? Or when he slips up?Little does he know, slipping up was one of the best things that would ever happen to him.
Relationships: Citron | Clemont/Satoshi | Ash Ketchum
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	Less Than Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll add Ash as a character once chapter two drops bc he’ll actually be in that one.
> 
> Clemont’s having a really hard time.
> 
> Read the tags.

I'd known I was gay since I was little. Of course, I never told because I was pretty sure it would break my sister's heart and once I sorta got up to nerve to, my dad passed the gym down onto me. Then I realized that I couldn't, since I was expected to be someone that people would look up to. A leader. And no-one gay could be a _real_ leader in anyone's eyes. It would practically be the Kalos revolution again, except this time my head would be the one under the guillotine.

But I couldn't even dwell on that because I was gonna be a gym leader! It had always been my dream, and my dad very well could've passed it onto anyone- or just kept it until he died. I was only fifteen, and I got to be a gym leader!

But then, I started to grow bored. It was just routine work, and I wanted to feel something.

So I did what I do best. I built. It was exhilarating, borderline creating something out of nothing. It was taking parts that everyone else thought were useless, and turning them into something wonderful.

It was a stress-reliever, and yet it filled me with adrenaline.

And that time, it was Clembot. He was a robot meant to take care of the gym so that I could do other stuff with my time. I wasn't even sure if he would work, but I needed to keep my hands and brain busy to keep myself from my thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~

I wandered around with my sister Bonnie while I thought about what I'd do with my free time if Clembot worked when I finished him. I just let my mind drift to happy places.

And that's the first time that it happened.

"You're a keeper!" Bonnie shouted, looking at some girl I'd never seen in my life. "Will you please take care of my big brother?"

"What?"

"Like marry him!"

As you will soon be able to tell, I wasn't the best under pressure. Like, at all.

I panicked, and in that panic, I bolted. I left my little sister all alone in the largest city in Kalos. I cursed myself, but still couldn't turn back.

Well, if nothing else, it did help me test out a hypothesis that I'd had for a while. My fight or flight response _did_ let me run faster than I ever ran for anything other than purely instinctual reasons.

By the time I could stomach looking back, Bonnie was nowhere to be found.

When I returned home, I still expected to be yelled at. That was something my mom did that I would probably never miss. (Of course, I'd probably still have to hear it all on holidays. She managed to beg to share us for just those few days a year.)

But my dad just put a hand on my shoulder, sighed, and asked if I wanted him to use the motorbike to look for her.

I nodded, looking down at my knees. I felt defeated, overwhelmed, emotions I couldn't even name. I was expected to be the best of the best. And yet I still left Bonnie, and liked boys, and hadn't finished Clembot and-

The moment my dad left the house, I started crying.

~~~~~~~~~~

I thanked Arceus that Bonnie got home safe, but telling random girls to marry me took some time to get used to.

Luckily, it only took one time running away to retrain my brain not to do that.

My dad still sent me back to therapy. Imagine what the people of Kalos would think if they knew that one of their gym leaders was in therapy.

Well- maybe therapy was less taboo then it used to be, but none of the older people would respect me.

They'd whisper about me the way that the ones I knew did when I first started going- before I had practically my every move scrutinized by all of Kalos.

At least the therapist I went to see was nice. She was from Galar and she had a yamper that was registered as a therapy pokémon. She let me pet him while I talked- or even when I couldn't talk, and just sat there silently for the entire session.

Her name was Sonia, and something about her just always seemed comforting. She even gave me butterscotch candies and jolly ranchers, insisting that they weren't just for her young patients.

And that was all it took. Getting back into a good routine, being able to talk to someone, being comforted.

It was time to finish Clembot.

~~~~~~~~~~

After feeling like my life was out of my hands, it felt amazing to put them to work. Whereas I wished before that I was a robot, I ended up feeling more glad that I could make them.

It was still breathtaking. Just building. Being able to look at something and think about how it was once a collection of parts, but now it was something beautiful because of me.

And when I looked at Clembot, lying on the table, I knew I had to tell Sonia something before Clembot- and I- could be completed.

~~~~~~~~~~

I sat in her office, feeling weak.

"Sorry for such short notice."

"It's fine, Clemont. I'm glad that I could squeeze you in today!" She gave me a smile.

I buried my face in Yamper's fur. He helped me get that extra boost of confidence that it took.

I took a deep breath. I knew electric types. Electric types were my normal. I sat up, and Yamper looked up at me as I pet him.

I just blurted it out.

"I'm gay."

Her eyes didn't widen. She didn't chastise me or tell me that I need God. She didn't post it on social media. She just smiled at me.

"Thank you for telling me," she said, jotting something down in my files.

"You're the first person I've ever told."

"That's really brave of you, Clemont."

"Then why do I feel so weak?"

"Coming out can be hard, but see? I'm on your side, Clemont, and I'm sure that other people will be too."

~~~~~~~~~~

I finished Clembot, and set him up in the gym. It felt normal, like that's what I was meant to be doing. Who needed boys? Inventing was my one true love.

And of course, when everything seemed like it was finally gonna go well for me, Clembot kicked me out of my own gym. I knew that'd be the talk of the town tomorrow, how the boy gym leader was kicked out by his own invention.

But when I was certain that my life was just destined to be bad, I met _him_.


End file.
